What can I do for you today?

What can I do for you today?

This is one of my favorite questions. I ask it of lovers and friends. I ask it of my heart and my dick. I ask it of clients.

I ask it when I feel able to give. I ask it when I want to express love.

It’s such a beautiful, open question that invites us to pause and reflect.

It’s a sincere offer to give. An expression that I am willing (and maybe even wanting) to give to you.

Hearing this question

If you’re someone who is not comfortable receiving, this question can be challenging to hear. You may want to dismiss it and reflexively say, “Oh nothing. I don’t need anything.”

When we dismiss a question like this we are not only blocking any gifts that might come our way, we are also denying our partners of the pleasure that can be present in giving (noting that pleasure does not need to be present in order to give).

Some practices

• When you wake up (before your mind becomes fully engaged) tune into your heart and ask, What can I do for you today? And then be still and listen. It can be easy for our minds to intercept the question (because our minds think they know everything), but let your mind rest and listen to your body.

• You can also do this with your genitals, other parts of your body, and also your fear, shame, guilt, and grief. You can do this with any part of your life.

• If you’re reading this and thinking there is no one who will ever ask you this question. Ask your friends, partners, family, or anyone you trust, to ask you this. You can practice texting it to each other. You can say it each morning before work or maybe at the end of each day. You get to choose.

Practicing saying and hearing this question can create a magnificent space for us to contemplate how we give, how we make requests, and how we receive.

You get to choose how you step into all of that.

And in my 1-1 work with clients, this is what we do. We practice different versions of this question with our physical, emotional, and energetic bodies. We identify and move through the challenges that inevitably arise. And you get to discover what you truly want, how you want to ask for it, and how you can create & receive more of it in your life.