Slowing down is the fastest route to more pleasure, intimacy, and connection

Pleasure, connection, and intimacy are talked about a lot. So much so that many of us just expect it to spontaneously present itself if and when we meet the right person. So we keep barrelling through.

It doesn’t work like that.

Pleasure, connection, and intimacy require intention and vulnerability. They ask us to go deeper than our surface-level desires.

We have to feel our physical, emotional, and energetic bodies. We have to bring awareness to the gross physical things we can touch as well as the subtler vibrations of what we can feel.

And that requires us to slow down.

Slowing down gives us space to feel, breathe, think, and receive.

Slowing down gives our partners space to do the same.

Slowing down is the fastest route to more pleasure. It is the fastest path to finding deeper intimacy and connection.

(There’s also a lot of science-backed evidence on the brain and its ability to process more pleasure in stillness than in movement.)

And I get it. When we are starved for connection, touch, pleasure, and intimacy there can be a false urgency - a feeling that if I don’t capture this moment right now, it will leave me.

(That’s a lie we’ve come to believe from a culture that wants to sell us everything immediately and then shame us if we don’t have it at the appropriate time.)

But slowing down helps us bring awareness to our bodies, our desires, and our limits.

Slowing down helps us receive the pleasure that is already there.

Slowing down helps us feel into the points of connection with our partners.

We have to be able to feel our bodies if we are going to navigate relational spaces with ease.

We cannot do that if we are moving fast, in our heads, and disembodied.

If you are craving more pleasure, connection, and intimacy in your life; start by slowing down.

Ask yourself and your body where you want more slowness. And then give it to yourself.

If this resonates and if you’re looking for a deeper exploration and experimentation into slowness, pleasure, connection, and intimacy, I hope you’ll consider setting up a consultation with me to talk about how it might look for you in our 1-1 work.

With love, Adam.