BDSM & transformation
What would it be like if…
you were fully present and aware of the pain and the pleasure in your body?
you weren’t pushing pain or pleasure away?
you couldn’t numb yourself from what was happening in your body?
BDSM and impact play are tools I use frequently with 1-1 clients. Whenever I mention BDSM, there is usually a flood of thoughts and preconceived notions.
There is fear. Fear of pain. Fear of surrender. Fear of pain.
There is judgment. The judgment that a certain type of person (NOT ME!) enters into BDSM or impact play.
There is curiosity. Curiosity around pain. Curiosity around surrender.
There is excitement. The excitement around exploring the unexplored territories of pain, surrender, and the limits of your power.
For me, BDSM and impact play are one of the most efficient tools for transformation that I know of. They can be used to bring awareness to your power, your limits, your desires, and the nuances of how you receive pleasure and pain.
Because BDSM and impact play are so powerful, there is almost always an emergence of wisdom in the body and then a stillness of deep reflection.
That’s why it is so transformative.
Very few of us have been taught to truly be with, and embrace, pleasure or pain.
When we embrace pain, it is usually at the exclusion of pleasure.
When we embrace pleasure, it is usually at the exclusion of pain.
What would it be like to be fully present with both pain and pleasure together?
BDSM is a beautiful and powerful teacher.
It teaches us about limits. It teaches us that in that place of surrender, you have all the power to stop the experiment (or to let it continue). It teaches us that in surrender, we get to choose when to step back. We get to use safe words (in all parts of our lives).
We are taught and conditioned to allow others to take from us, but in a controlled and loving BDSM session, we get to say no when we notice we have crossed our limits.
It teaches us to consent to pain as much as pleasure. Consent is not just about saying no to the “bad” things and yes to the “good” things. Consent is a way to navigate the pain and pleasure in our lives.
We must learn to say yes and no to both pleasure and pain in ways that make our lives easier.
We get to ask for pleasure. We get to ask for pain. And we get to say no to both when are not willing to be present with them.
For me, BDSM and impact play are not about dominance and submission (that’s there, but it is such a small part). They are more about you renegotiating your relationship with pain and pleasure and rediscovering your true power to set limits.
It is about your relationship with all of your senses. It is sensual. It is pleasurable. And yes, it is painful.
BDSM and impact play have changed my life and I have seen it change so many others.
If you are ready to take that step into transformation, read more about my 1-1 in-person work. And if that resonates, I hope you’ll set up a consultation for us to talk.
