Finding authenticity in communities of practice

So many of us are doing our best to show up authentically, truthfully, as our full selves.

We hear about it constantly from the healing and personal development industry. We know it’s important.

We yearn to be seen. But there are few models in the dominant culture for how we can begin to see ourselves.

And with all the teachers, gurus, healers telling us that if we do their ONE thing we’ll find our authenticity, it gets confusing even knowing what it is.

We get caught up in thinking that if we take a yoga class, get our chakras cleansed, come into better relationship with our divine masculine/feminine, or go to a sound bath we’ll have that authenticity thing figured out.

We do all these things to support our growth and fulfillment, but we continue to feel unseen and unmet.

We continue to yearn for deeper connection, intimacy, and relationships that feel inspiring and life-giving.

Unfortunately, in my experience, we have to go beyond the "healing" modalities if we are going to find our authenticity, be seen, and find that place of fulfillment.

Especially if the healing modality asks us to lie on a table and let go of all of our responsibility for our own bodies and choices. That’s just bypassing. I’m not saying healers or healing modalities are bad. But healers and healing modalities that proclaim to have the answer are often quite harmful and violent. Generally speaking, I see more harm in the healing industry than the opposite.

We must take responsibility for seeing, loving, and holding ourselves. And we must come to a deeper understanding that authenticity is not a fixed destination or goal -- it is a path and it is always changing.

Authenticity is not fixed

Authenticity is not fixed. The moment I see myself is the moment I’ve evolved into something new.

Finding authenticity and receiving the gift of being seen asks that we be in communities of practice.

And it is in those communities of practice where we…

➕ Learn how to create relational spaces where we can be brave enough to be vulnerable.

➕ Build relational playgrounds where we can run, jump, fall, bump up against each other, have breaks, laugh, and form lasting bonds.

➕ Be still enough to listen to our physical, emotional, and energetic bodies’ desires and limits.

➕ Remember that we can love each other, and more importantly ourselves, without liking everything (or even anything) about each other.

Being in this practice is magical. We feel safer, more trusting, and more brave.

In that space, we can find a clearer image of ourselves, how we want to be seen, and how we are going to navigate the path of authenticity.

So often we become stuck imagining that the right job, certification, partner, skill, look, or accessory will help define the authentic version of ourselves that we want others to see. But it doesn’t work like that.

Our authenticity is not just our unmovable earth. It also exists in the waters of our body, the fires, the air, and the ether.

It shifts, it flows, it bends, it blows away, it expands and contracts, and it burns — all upon the bedrock of the love we hold for ourselves.

A foundation of love for ourselves

It is on that foundation of love, compassion, and grief that we can create, maintain, and dissolve the multitude of authenticities we carry.

We don’t have to search for authenticity. It is already there.

And the moment you find it, it’s already changed. The only thing we can do is stop chasing authenticity and be present with the love we have for our own bodies, desires, and limits.

When we do that, people see us.

My sacred intimacy work is about building this community of practice. We do it together, in love.

We move through our bodies to deepen, hone, and refine our understanding of ourselves, our desires, and our limits.

In those moments, you get a glimpse of what is authentic for you. And in the next moment, you’ll get another.

Put together, you’ll begin to see a new version of yourself.