Dating apps can be a disaster. All of the swiping, ghosting, and bad dates. All of the racism, ableism, ageism, unacknowledged privilege, etc. They can do a number on our emotional, energetic, and physical health.
And they can be amazing. Allowing us to find and meet people who we might never have had the chance to run into. Giving us the space to find great sex and amazing relationships.
Either way, I believe it can be better. Dating apps can be easier. And they can be a lot more fun.
If you’re someone who desires deeper connections, relationships, and dates, this class might be for you.
Through seven 90-minute sessions, you will dive deep into your intentions, desires, blocks, profile, pictures, communication style, and most importantly, your limits.
And you will get to be in community with a group of others seeking intentional, fulfilling, and pleasurable connections.
During our time together, we will explore some of the most common underlying issues confronting people who are seeking deeper connections online. We will experiment, inquire, and discuss the blocks and obstacles that make navigating dating apps so difficult.
And, this will be a lot of fun. I am passionate about dating apps and online dating because I’ve seen it work for myself and so many of my clients. Once I began bringing these practices into my life, I could appreciate the opportunities to connect with people, have amazing sex, and develop long-lasting friendships, romantic partners, and everything in between.
What’s going to happen
It will be a mixture of embodied experiments and practical teaching tips. You will have many opportunities to notice what’s happening in your body so that it becomes embedded in your system.
You will learn what it means to bring a more intentional approach to your online dating and how to set limits for anything or anyone that doesn’t resonate with that.
We will shine a light on how systems of power and oppression suffocate spaces like dating apps making it feel unsafe and unwelcome for anyone who does not fit the standards defined by our white-bodied supremacist culture.
There will be group discussions, breakouts for intentional witnessing and sharing, meditations, and space for reflection.
While there are some points on the map I want to cover, this will be an emergent process and the energy of the group will guide us.
Logistics
Wednesdays, 7 PM - 8:30 PM ET
November 30 - March 8
recorded on Zoom
Session 1 (Nov 30) — Welcome, introductions, container setting, rules, a model for setting your container
Session 2 (Dec 14) — Power dynamics, how they show up, identifying where we have an abundance or lack
Session 3 (Jan 11) — Intentions, desires, and limits
Session 4 (Jan 25) — The profile
Session 5 (Feb 8) — Pictures & taking responsibility for how we love our bodies
Session 6 (Feb 22) — Communication, creating safety, and preparing for a meeting
Session 7 (Mar 8) — Closing
A strong enough container
Whenever we delve into conversations about desire & pleasure, a lot will arise in our bodies. When we also bring in the impact of power dynamics and systems of oppression, even more comes up.
Every type of body is welcome in this group. And, I am bringing awareness to the makeup of the participants so that we do not replicate the structural systems of dominance and power we see in our daily lives. I want to imagine and create something different together.
My goal and intention in holding this space, or any space, is to create a container that is strong enough to hold all of you and all of me.
I no longer hope that the container will be safe enough because I don’t know if it can be. When we enter this type of deep inquiry, it doesn’t always feel safe or comfortable.
But I know that if it is strong enough to hold me, you, and all of the group’s pains and pleasures, we have a much better chance of finding our communal and individual paths of joy.
Each participant will be expected to agree to the rules of the container. We will spend time throughout the class reviewing these as they can serve as a template for all of our relationships.
We will have safe words for moments that land in harmful ways so that they can be named and released, not held.
And the leadership team will do their best to name and acknowledge the micro- and macro-agressions that inevitably arise in group space.
I expect rupture. And I look forward to the deep pleasure of repair.
Facilitated by Adam Bee
I am a space holder, facilitator, guide, and coach. I do this work because I believe in it. It has changed my life and the world around me.
I am a white-bodied queer. I use they/them pronouns. However I identify, I realize that I receive many advantages due to my body and expression, and I recognize that it will impact this class.
While I have used dating apps to meet all kinds of bodies and identities, I have mostly used them to interact with men and masculine-identified folks.
I have used dating apps and online dating sites for over 20 years. It was all pretty miserable for me until I began to use some of the consent-forward practices I use in my touch-based work.
Then everything changed — overnight.
I began to have incredibly pleasurable, connected, and fulfilling dates, hookups, and relationships. I honestly couldn’t believe it, mostly because it was so easy.
The only time I didn’t have a good meeting was when I skipped one of my steps or overlooked one of my limits. And it ALWAYS came back to bite me in the ass.
And I’ve seen it work with many clients, friends, and loved ones.
I believe in this work and I have seen it change lives.
Pricing and registration
There are two different sliding scales to acknowledge the historical and persistent disparities that certain bodies, expressions, and identities have in gaining access to resources.
It is also important to name that intentionally exploited and traditionally marginalized people have to do more work to show up and be present in group spaces like this.
And in dating apps, racialized, trans, and disabled bodies are often fetishized, sexualized, objectified, and discriminated against in ways that might make participating in this group more challenging.
If you identify as Black-bodied, Indigenous-bodied, a body of culture/person of color, trans, or disabled:
$125-$450
If you identify as white-bodied, non-trans, and non-disabled:
$250-$450
*Payment plans are available.
*Body designation and identities: I recognize that there are inherent limitations when asking folks to make designations around their bodies and identities. It is always more complex than the boxes we provide and rarely clear or simple. I ask folks to choose what feels best for you.
After you fill out the form below, we’ll review your application and send you a registration link to join. Your payment will reserve your spot.
This language regarding body designations is influenced by the work of Resmaa Menakem and Education for Racial Equity. If you are interested in learning more, we recommend visiting their website where they have resources for all bodies & individuals.
Space is limited to 50 people of all identities, expressions, and orientations
The Rules of the Container can be found here (exact wording may change)