The work for self-identified women

Saying ‘no’ to a man

I realize that, for many women, being in an erotic space with a man can be challenging at best. The perceived power dynamics, the memories of past encounters, the hopes or fears of what is about to happen - they all serve to take you out of the present.

And I believe that when we are confused about our noes, it becomes very difficult for you to know what you truly want.

In this work you will gain clarity around what you want to say ‘no’ to. You will practice saying ‘no’ and feel it in your body.

My job is create a space for you to experiment with your body and get out of your head

I believe that when we deepen our relationships to our bodies, we are able to stand more fully in the present - where suffering and pain cannot exist. At the same time, I have found that pleasure, joy, happiness, and fulfillment cannot exist in the thoughts of our past and future (where our heads love to take us!).

My work as a gay man focused on consent

As a gay man, I am able to hold you in this erotic space with less distraction. My intense focus on consent also helps you develop new patterns for how you want to ask for and receive what you truly want. It is my belief that pleasure can be found more fully when all parties are acting within consent. So every step and every decision is asked for and negotiated before, during, and after.

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In our work together…

If we both choose to work together, your program will be tailored to your needs. In each session, we will discuss where you are, where you want to be, and the hurdles that are standing before you.

Through this work, you will dive deeper into your body and rediscover the lost language of your body and tissues of arousal. Learning to listen to your body will ultimately help you navigate your path and the reality you choose to create for yourself.

You will learn to say ‘no’

In my work I have noticed than when we become more clear about our noes, our ability to say ‘yes’ to pleasure tends to expand. Knowing that I have the power to say ‘no’ to you means that I can sink in and enjoy what I have in front of me.

When we work together, we will practice saying ‘no’ in many ways. Just knowing you have that option in an erotic space can be life-changing.

Clarity around the confusion of noes

I find that past trauma and pain can make our noes very confusing. For me, this has manifested in me saying ‘no’ to dating huge swaths of men. Because I let myself be hurt by a young, Korean man once, I noticed that I began saying ‘no’ to every Korean man that was 5+ years younger than me.

What I thought was a safe boundary was actually a barrier for me. I didn’t realize that I had the power to say ‘no’ to the pain - and instead I blocked out an entire population of people.

When you are more fully aware of your ability to say ‘no,’ you will start to have more clarity around what it is that you truly want.

Alignment in all parts of your body

Held within a safe (enough) container you will learn how the different parts of your body are speaking. In my experience, our yesses and noes come in at different levels depending upon where our heads, hearts, guts, and genitals are at.

I never expect all of the parts of our bodies to be in 100% alignment. But if we can listen to them and notice when a part of us is screaming ‘no,’ then we are able to take steps that are more in alignment with our soul.

And when we do that, we can manifest truly pleasurable realities for ourselves.

Experience pleasure in the present

Pain and suffering cannot be found in the present. It only exists in our thoughts of the past or future.

Pleasure cannot be found in the thoughts of the past or future. It can only be found in the present.

Our heads are constantly stuck in the past and future.

But our bodies are always in the present.

This work is about bringing awareness to that presence so you can find your true pleasure, joy, and fulfillment.

Am I ready for this?

If any of these comments resonate with you, you might be ready for this work. Here are some of the things I hear most frequently:

  • I don’t know how to ask for what I want

  • I don't love myself or my body

  • My mind is constantly churning about my past mistakes and what I expect to happen in the future

  • I don't trust my intuition anymore

  • I am not excited about my work and I feel stuck

  • My sex life is out of control and I need to find balance

  • I want to build a deeper connection to my spiritual self

  • My relationships are not fulfilling to me anymore

  • I wish my friends and coworkers valued what I can bring to the table

All of these statements are manifestations of the thoughts in your head. By diving into your body, you can understand deeper truths to these stories.

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What happens when we work together?

This work is done over the course of three months. During that time we will be together 1-1 for embodied experiments and integration work. This work does not involve sex and every step is taken with your consent and mine.

It is an intensive coaching program that requires a strong investment from your physical, emotional, and spiritual selves.

Our time together requires that you show up in honesty, vulnerability, and trust. I do everything I can to support that, but if at any time that feels compromised by either of us, we will talk about it so that we can both agree on next steps.

Consultation

If you’re ready to talk more about this work and how it will change you life, please set up a consultation here.