How did you come to this work?
This work found me after having my heart broken for what felt like the 836th time. I’d attached so much meaning to the concepts of love, relationship, and marriage, that I couldn’t imagine finding any fulfillment without them.
This particular situation with this particular man threw me into a particularly bad tailspin. I spent hours in bed crying everyday wondering what was wrong with me.
Constantly asking: How could I be in my mid-30s and not understand some of these basic issues about myself? How could I let someone take advantage of me again? Why am I so unlovable? Why am i so miserable when I try so hard to be good?
Eventually I realized that I needed to seek out a new kind of help. A help that wasn’t in my head. I needed to go deeper into my body. I had no idea where to turn so when I was in Amsterdam, I sought out a tantra specialist. We had a session and recommended some books and practices for me. And that changed my course.
I devoured the books and continued reading. I practiced the breathing techniques and learned that I could manipulate and move the energy in my body at will.
Most importantly, I discovered that this work was fun. The deeper I got into my body, the more I could feel. I learned how to have multiple orgasms and how to bring in orgasmic energy even when I wasn’t in a sexual situation. I could be on top of a mountain and use my breath to feel that flush of energy - that tingling, full body explosion.
And then I noticed that my attachments to love, relationships, and marriage started to fall away. I started to understand myself as my sole source of fulfillment.
More than that, every other part of my life started to shift. I began to show up differently in my career, my family, and in every other relationship. I started to have clarity around what I wanted. And I began asking for it.
I started creating a life full of pleasure, joy, and fulfillment.
Why do you do this work?
I do this work because it changed my life. I know what it feels like to know that there is more out there but have no clue how to find it. I know what it feels like to flail your arms in the dark hoping that your hand eventually lands on the thing that will bring satisfaction and fulfillment.
I also understand that this work is ultimately about serving myself. I am here to help you experience what I have seen, and I love doing that, but I love it because it serves me. I do this work because I am selfish. This work gave me a taste of what I was seeking: pleasure, joy, fulfillment, satisfaction; and since then, I have been on a quest for more.
I am a student of pleasure and suffering and every time you show up, I am allowed to go deeper on that journey. When you take steps, I get to see that and grow with you. And it is in that space where we can both extend & expand our happiness, joy, and pleasure.
I am so grateful for those opportunities.
My journey through success, depression, “finding myself” in Asia, and fulfillment
As these things go, there is, of course, more to my story. I grew up gay in Clarksville, Tennessee. I worked in politics for seven years working for marriage equality and universal health care until I hit rock bottom with my depression. I escaped America and went exploring in Korea for eight years where I learned about myself, hobbies, and most importantly, how to have massive amounts of fun! I returned to the States for no reason other than my gut was telling me. I started my own marketing business and suffered tremendously as I mustered the courage to say the work “erotic energy” in public.
I finally did come out as someone doing this work. I moved to NYC. And I discovered fulfillment that I did not believe existed.